So, a Bot Walks into a Doctor’s Office…

I’ve had some questionable medical moments in my life. Like that time I convinced myself I had gout because my foot fell asleep funny. Or when I took one of those online “What’s Your Real Age?” quizzes and it told me I was 74. Spiritually, I felt seen.

But nothing, and I mean nothing, prepared me for the unnervingly excellent medical care I received last week… from a bot.

Yes. A chatbot. The kind you'd usually expect to answer FAQs like “Where do I park?” or “Do you validate insurance?”, not to gently coax you into confessing that, yes, your chest has felt weird lately and, no, it’s not because of a new bench press PR.

Enter Dr. HTML

It started innocently enough. I was on the clinic’s website, fully intending to procrastinate, when a small chat window popped up like a digital butler.

“Hi! I’m here to help you with any medical concerns.”

Oh really?

I decided to test the waters. “Chest feels tight. Not urgent. Probably nothing.”

And just like that, we were off. The bot — let’s call him Dr. HTML — didn’t just spit out a generic “please call emergency services” or redirect me to a mile-long PDF. No, he asked me questions. Kind ones. Specific ones. Smart ones.

He guided me through a triage that, frankly, felt more thorough than most rushed in-person checkups I’ve had. You know the kind. The ones where you finally get into the doctor’s office only to spend 7 minutes explaining your symptoms while the doc types something furiously and nods vaguely at the wall behind you.

But this bot? It listened. Or at least convincingly faked it.

But Here’s the Wild Part…

At the end of the digital inquisition, it gently recommended that I come in for a follow-up and (here’s the part that made me double-take) booked the appointment for me.

Just like that. No hold music. No "please spell your last name again." No tired receptionist sighing because it's 4:57 PM and your symptoms don't sound very exciting.

And while yes, the follow-up did cost money as thorough testing usually does, I didn’t mind. I felt cared for. Respected. Guided with a kind of intentionality that, honestly, I wouldn't have expected from a girl at the front desk trying to juggle five phones and one angry walk-in.

The Underrated Luxury of Frictionless Compassion

What struck me wasn’t just the efficiency. It was the tone. This bot wasn’t pretending to be human. It didn’t throw in fake “I’m so sorry to hear that” statements or emoji-laced empathy.

It simply worked. Smoothly. Gently. Effectively.

It cared about one thing: helping me navigate my care without overwhelming me.

Which made me wonder… is this what the future looks like?

Not robots replacing humans, but stepping in where the cracks have grown too wide. Where overworked staff and underdesigned systems leave empathy gasping for breath between insurance verifications and keyboard shortcuts.

Maybe This is What Healthcare Should Feel Like?

Don’t get me wrong, I still want my doctor to have a pulse. Preferably a warm smile and a sense of humor too.

But if I can access triage, compassion, and a booked appointment without even changing out of my pajamas? That’s a win.

And if the bot does its job so well that I want to pay for the follow-up? That’s not manipulation. That’s design done right!

So here's to Dr. HTML. You may not have a medical license or a soul, but you made me feel something remarkably close to taken care of.

And in today’s world, that’s more than enough to earn my trust...and maybe even my co-pay.