Who Knows What's Best for Thee

I have a couple of friends in mental health. Possibly a few life coaches as well. This one goes out to them.

Have you ever asked yourself "What if I have done better back then when...?" or, even better, told yourself "You should have done better"?

And here's something you most certainly have done.

You (at least) thought or (most likely) commented on a situation "The best thing for them would be if...".

Right?

So many people get stuck in fantasies of what could've, should've or would've been if they just ________ (insert regret).

Just think how many movies portray time travel and tell stories of an individual trying to fix things by going back smarter and wiser.

It's not that we don't notice at all how bad we feel in certain situations as they are happening, but still, we often stay at underpaid jobs, in violent relationships, and in hostile surroundings. Especially if you are observing the situation someone else is going through from the outside or (much more often) from above. You are tempted to think or even say you would 'quit that' or 'do something about it.'

It is easy to be bewildered about the obviously non-optimal circumstances one is holding themselves 'hostage' in.

It is easy to assume they've lost all their marbles and you're the one who knows what's best for them.

But do you?

Can you actually look at yourself in the past and visualize the situation your old self could have (when you think about it now) handled better?

Imagine the person you were back then. Imagine the train of thoughts you had back then about the situation you're finding yourself in. Could you have done better? Could you have REALLY done better?

You often forget about the famous and often most hated dimension — the freakin' time!

Think about how much this intangible aspect of our lives has actually helped shape us into older and hopefully wiser individuals who have managed to change the way they think about things in general? Let alone the past.

Be honest with yourself and you'll see that you couldn't have done better. You simply didn't know any better. And you couldn't have, because some things simply take time and the experience we gain with its passage.

Now, the million-dollar question would be — would you have done better at the time if somebody else told you what's best for you? What emotion would kick in?